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PARIS HILTON IS OUT OF JAIL!!!! After only 3 days. Not 45 days. Not even 23 days. 3 fucking days. Bitch didn’t even serve a goddam week in jail if this was me or you, we be in the slammer riding it out with Bubba.

Paris was apparently suffering from severe panic attacks and depression, where she even became suicidal. Towards the end of her stay, Paris began, what others call, a nervous breakdown. Her psychiatrist was so concerned for her well being they did everything possible to get her to a place in which was comfortable for her and her health.

According to TMZ.com, Paris will finish the remainder of her sentence, 40 days, under house arrest. But that’s retarded. I spend all day in my basement apartment, and I didn’t nearly kill everyone in LA because I decided to have 18 Jagers and an 8-ball before getting on the road. And Paris’ house is a hell of a lot bigger than my apartment. Party at Paris’s, would you expect anything less!

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