Tuesday February 19 2008

Jessica Simpsons’ dad/manager Joe is now being sued along with Jessica by a man named Alex Astilean, who claims Jess signed a multi-million dollar contract with him to star in an exercise tape produced by his company, Speedfit. Even though the tape is finished, Jess is still blocking its release. I read in Page Six today (while on the can) explains:

In 2005, during a lull in her career, Simpson starred in a workout tape produced by Speedfit … she later changed her mind and prevented the video from being released by not giving final approval. Speedfit owner Alex Astilean sued Simpson last year for $10 million — and since she’s refused to settle, Astilean’s now suing her manager dad, Joe, as well. Astilean said, “They are hurting millions of fat people in America.”

Why cant we all just be skinny and get along? That would solve half of the problem of america. Imagine if everyone was only a size zero. And you couldnt get any other size. Well that would force you to look like stick model. Thats all we like on this planet. Try downsouth at the Waffle House I hear they have a special!

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Tuesday February 19 2008

Paris Hilton was in her element this past weekend, skanking it up and performing with the Pussycat Dolls for her birthday. You know, as much as I dislike Paris, I can always appreciate a skinny blond in slutty lingerie. Because thats what Paris is, a big pussy! haha

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Monday February 18 2008

The greatest day for Lindsay Lohan fans since the creation of freckles. Story is these are pictures of Lindsay Lohan, topless and even fully naked, for New York Magazine. It’s supposed to be some kind of tribute to Marilyn Monroe or something. Honestly I am just glad to see her topless for once. Shes a slut and loves the penis. Gangbang anyone lol. I guess our wishes do come true once and awhile.

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Sunday February 17 2008

In this season’s Big Brother (BB 9), a bunch of single people were paired together with their supposed soul mates. And apparently, Natalie Cunial believed in the power of true love so deeply, that she gave Matt a blow job before the second episode aired. You can tell Matt’s heart was awakened by her love because immediately afterward, he pushed her away then made her “pinky swear” not to tell anyone.

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Saturday February 16 2008

At first this story in Star may seem far fetched but then you remember that it’s about a Spears and the whole family is a plague of fuck ups and then it all makes sense. Let’s skip to the best part.

Just days before announcing her pregnancy in December, Jamie Lynn Spears shocked a boy at a party by asking him for sex. “It’s cool, I’m pregnant,” she said. “I can’t get pregnant again!”

The story says other things about her getting drunk all the time and drinking to escape her life as a famous hillbilly, and about her cheating on the father of her little inbred child thats going to be born, but that was all just build up to, “It’s cool, I’m pregnant. I can’t get pregnant again!” But please don’t think I’m being critical. No, no not at all. We need more progressive thinking whores like this. Dr. Drew there is right. You can’t get double pregnant, so now, hey, no rules. She’s 16 and knocked up and that means it’s time to discover the pleasures of life, baby. Loveline rules.

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