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Rihanna has released a message to all of us guys who’d like to fuck the shit out of her. Chris Brown’s former punching bag tells told German magazine Bravo that she’s only looking for a guy with a huge cock.

“He has to be good in bed and the size matters,” she said. “You know what I mean? The inner beauty counts as well, but without a toy it doesn’t make it fun. Right now I don’t want to have a serious relationship, I want to have fun.”

So Rihanna, you’re looking for a big “toy?” You’ve came to the right place! I have a huge Super Soaker you can play with and I’ll even throw in those two big water balloons just handing around down there.

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