Dickism » Heather Locklear

Two In The Pink And One In The Sink

Dickism — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 16:44:10 +0000

Heere is Heather Locklear super smashed and of course holding up gang signs that mean nothing at all. But I think shes saying she wants two in the pink and one in the sink, or is it stink. Haha. Well I know I am a dick and you can thank Tim for that one. Sometimes being a dick is better..Better then being the one that gets hurt.

Heather Locklear Knows How To Give It

Dickism — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:42:25 +0000

If you had your choice to bang just one girl on a surfboard in Hawaii who used to have sex with Richie Sambora, you’d have to weigh the pros and cons, depending if theres a kid around or not. Heather Locklear looks better in a bikini than Fergie, even though the monster is ten years older, but be warned, she will apparently bend you over and stick it up your bum, girl or guy it doesn’t matter. That’s not my cup of tea, I don’t swing that way, well maybe for some money. I just can’t get pregnant right now, I just can’t. I thought she was dead so to see her alive and fucking some guy in the ass wakes me up this morning.

Richie Sambora Gets DUI No Denise Richards

Dickism — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 02:57:12 +0000

Richie Sambora, of Bon Jovi fame, and bangs Denise Richards (my idol for that score) was picked up last night for DUI by Laguna Beach police, according to tPc:

Cops say they observed him driving erratically in a black Hummer and pulled him over. He failed numerous field sobriety tests and was detained for DUI.
At the station a cooperative Sambora opted to take a blood test rather than blow into a breathalyzer. Laguna Beach PD tells tPc there’s no indication of drugs.

Richie also had a female passenger car who police immediately clarified wasn’t a celebrity. Ha! Loser. Can’t even get a famous chick to ride shotgun while you’re tanked. And to think I respected you. *rips down Bon Jovi poster* Wait, I don’t like Bon Jovi.

UPDATE: So it turns out Richie Sambora’s 10-year-old daughter was in the car at the time of the arrest, according to tPc. What a fucking idiot. Heather Locklear’s lawyers are going to have a field day with this shit. Driving drunk with a kid in a car, Christ. I didn’t know they gave out Father of the Year Awards for “Most Retarded.”