Tuesday July 8 2008

It seems like every time Ashlee Simpson goes out and shows off her new big pregnant breasts, Jessica Simpson brings out her guns too and outdoes her. Is this some sort of sibling rivalry? Because it’s not much of competition. Jessica will win each and every time hands down…Shitt..

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Monday June 16 2008

Stifler, whose real name is apparently Seann William Scott which I had no idea until now, since I didn’t really care, addressed the Internet rumors about why there’s tension between him and Nick Lachey. Turns out Stifler and Jessica Simpson had angry leather sex. Here’s my brief transcribing of what he said:

DJ Whoo Kid: I heard you had beef with Nick Lachey, man.
Stifler: Oh, ’cause I fucked Jessica Simpson?
[Assorted OH!'s, DAMN's, That is WACK!'s]
Stifler: No, but I did!
DJ Whoo Kid: One rumor out da way!

First off, who hasn’t slept with Jessica Simpson and secondly, Stifler is still the man! He may have fucked everything insight in those American Pie movies. But you gotta give him credit for nailing Jessica Simpson. Next time I see him, a big high five…Its secret guy code.

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Saturday May 24 2008

Imaged removed courtesy of People Magazine

Here are pictures of the wedding constructed by Joe Simpson, the creator of all beings on this earth. In Joe We Trust. The victims are Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson. I gave them about a year then it will end in divorce after the reality show they film fail horribly, and create friction like Jess and Nick.

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Wednesday May 21 2008

These Jessica Simpson bikini pictures were taken down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where she is vacationing, and apparently giving herself public breast exams because shes bored and has no cock. Jessica was caught by the paps taking a long look at her breasts while changing out of her bikini. We came that close to almost seeing Jessica Simpson topless dammit!

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Tuesday May 13 2008

Tony Romo had a bachelor-style hard partying weekend in Chicago these past couple of days and now we know why. We exclusively have learned that Romo and girlfriend Jessica Simpson have broken up because of Jessica Simpson being horrible in bed:

“He told us they broke up and that was that. We’re guys so we didn’t talk about it much. Tony was having a blast playing Pop-A-Shot mini golf and bags,” according to a source. “He was with some football college buddies and drinking Grey Goose and Diet Cokes. He was surrounded by girls,” according to an eyewitness. “We had to restrain some who forcibly tried to make their way to his table. He zeroed in on one blonde all night,” a source said. “That blonde wasn’t Jessica Simpson. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speaker phone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills.”

They are done! So now I see why Jessica keeps getting the can..It seems she sucks in the sack, so why would you wanna stay with a girl like that after you used up all her publicity and got laid. There is no other reason to hangout with her really. So sad, that Ashlee is a better catch then Jessica. And all these years we had it the other way around! SHit…

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