Thursday September 11 2008

Matt Damon basically ass raped Governor Sarah Palin in the face today while in Toronto promoting ONEXONE a Canadian children’s charity. His major concern seems to be what happens when John McCain kicks the bucket in office if the Republicans win some interesting shit I tell you:

“You do the actuary tables, there’s a one out of three chance, if not more, that McCain doesn’t survive his first term, and it’ll be President Palin. It’s like a really bad Disney movie, “The Hockey Mom.’ Oh, I’m just a hockey mom from Alaska, and she’s president. “She’s facing down Vladimir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. It’s absurd.”

What did we learn from this dont piss off Matt Damon, ever! Because he not only will woodchop your ass to next year, but hes a Harvard pants so his brain is a sharp as them come. But still I can beat him with just my mojo. And who the hell is he dating, isn’t she butt ugly.

• Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old Daughter, Bristol Palin Is A Slut

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Tuesday September 2 2008

The 17-year-old daughter of John McCain’s running mate Sarah Palin a.k.a. Governor MILF. You may have seen her slut daughter in the American Pie sequels is reportedly five months pregnant. The McCain campaign revealed the news to rebut rampant rumors that Governor Palin’s infant son is actually her grandson and she faked her pregnancy to protect her daughter Bristol. You seriously just read all that, and I’m now 90% positive John McCain’s research involved picking this woman’s name out of of a hat. Reuters reports she sucks:

The Palins, in a statement released by the McCain campaign, said Bristol “came to us with news that we as parents knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned” and that their daughter “has our unconditional love and support.”
“We ask the media to respect our daughter and Levi’s privacy as has always been the tradition of children of candidates,” their statement said.
Senior McCain campaign officials said McCain knew of the daughter’s pregnancy when he selected Palin last week as his vice presidential running mate, deciding that it did not disqualify the 44-year-old governor in any way.

Bristol Palin so finally the real face of America is emerging. Sooner or later everyone’s seventeen year old daughter will be pregnant because they don’t know the word birth control in Alaska. Or better yet how to close your legs. But at least now you know the bitch is easy to get with. PS. Here is the picture of the douche bag that donated his sperm.

• Bristol Palin Likes To Kiss Girls And Get Drunk
• Matt Damon Thinks Sarah Palin Really Sucks Badly

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