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Katy Perry Makes Her Breasts Do Work


Katy Perry started work on a new video the other day, its pictures of her in a Vegas money vault. But doesn’t she know no one watches music videos anymore. That’s so 1999. When music videos actually used to make money, to help you sell records. Now its just tits and ass sells music. Katy Perry’s tits and ass.


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Howard K. Stern Is Fucked


The late Anna Nicole Smith’s boyfriend/lawyer Howard K. Stern and two other doctors have been charged with illegally furnishing her “thousands of prescription pills” up until her death in 2007, according to the TMZ:

Howard K. Stern and Dr. Sandeep Kapoor were released late Thursday after posting $20,000 bond. Charges include conspiracy, unlawfully prescribing a controlled substance and prescribing, administering or dispensing a controlled substance to an addict, authorities said.
“These individuals repeatedly and excessively furnished thousands of prescription pills to Anna Nicole Smith, often for no legitimate medical purpose,” California Attorney General Jerry Brown said in a statement Thursday. His office was expected to release more details about the case at a news conference Friday.
Prosecutors said the doctors gave thousands of prescription drugs — including opiates and sedatives — to Stern, who then gave them to Smith.

Hes been shopping around the same story for years and finally his shitty ass will catch up with him. There is no way a hot chick would bang Howard K. Stern without being drugged up. Hence the situation above.


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Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Going Insane


Jennifer Love Hewitt has lost her shit, apparently she’s dating Jamie Kennedy. Jamie took it upon himself to confirm it to the world this morning on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show. People reports:

“I’m in love and I don’t care,” the actor told Seacrest. Kennedy said the couple are not engaged but share a bond he described as “more than love.”
“I thought it was something I would find in my 40s,” Kennedy, 38, told Seacrest. “It’s like, ‘Wow, you are hot. You can sing, you can dance, you’re, like, so smart and, wow, you can cook pasta fagioli too.’ “

I dunno about you but what is with these hot girls with douchebags. I mean come on now. Megan Fox with BAG, and now JLH with Jaime Kennedy. Its a step up from Ross, but not a big one. Apparently, she likes guys that she can control completely, and Jaime is that guy. Shitty having a girls name and being 38.


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Paris Hilton Almost Drowns


Paris Hilton spent day two in Hawaii yesterday, and she was underwater scuba diving, and everyone on land was praying that she get eaten by a shark. Of course she didn’t. When she came up for air, everyone was yelling and screaming why didn’t a shark eat her. I even heard someone punched a random blonde that looked like her. It was actually hilarious.


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Jennifer Aniston Got Dumped Again


It seems like every time Jennifer Aniston does an interview she spends half her time talking about Brad Pitt and how she doesn’t think about Brad Pitt anymore. Now I date John Mayer. Well, not anymore. E! says:

A source says that the pair’s on-again, off-again relationship may have ended when Aniston returned from overseas, where she was promoting Marley & Me. She returned sometime within the last week. “He broke up with her when she got back from her European tour,” the source said.

John Mayer is the king, hes a smart dude. He gets in at the right time. Gets some anal sex, and then knows when to bail, and then hes onto hot chick number 2939239279372. Lets see he banged Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly, the guy is a goddess, his cock must rule!


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Joaquin Phoenix continues to be a retard attention whore pretending to be beat up a fan at his concert last night in Miami, according to TMZ:

He began rapping to a beat played by the DJ and nodding to the music, although most of the lyrics were unintelligible. Then he responded to someone who appeared to be heckling him in the audience near the stage.
“We have a (double-expletive) in the audience,” he said before jumping into the crowd. It was not immediately clear whether the two men exchanged any blows.
Telling the heckler, “I’ve got millions of dollars in my f**king bank account, what do you got?”
Phoenix then launched himself off the stage and started throwing punches at the “f**king a**hole.” The crowd erupted, and started chanting “Joaquin, Joaquin” until Phoenix was eventually dragged away by club security.

If Joaquin has millions I like to see them. Hes probably so broke, he cant even pay for his heat bill. Now hes touring the world, and trying to be a hippie rapper. He needs to just stop and go back to acting, you get hot chicks, and a killer paycheck. Now why would you leave that job, unless your just fucking stupid!


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